Contemplating the Abyss

Contemplating
The abyss
Is anything simpler
Than this?
Putting together
Endless lists
Of things that may
Or might go wrong
Thinking too much
And losing sleep
Things seeming such
Your peace won’t keep
At straws you clutch
And take the leap
When hope’s at bay
You don’t belong
At end of day
Can you croak the song?

RWOz2

The Fairy Diary Day 239 #TFDbyRWOz2

Meribabell writes:

We have passed several elvish villages so far. Each one has been most helpful, even without the need for showing our passport. This close to Laguayil, word has preceded us. 

I do note that there are not many young elves about, but that makes sense. They have no doubt been called to the capital to join Nililitil’s forces there. And though those remaining put on a brave face, I do detect an undercurrent of worry among them. 

Dunfallon is much like his old self, striking up lively conversations with Rumble and Noralei in turn. 

However, he mostly avoids me. It concerns me somewhat. I sense he wants to ask me something – but is afraid he won’t like my answer. 

I will bide my time. Perhaps I will open up to him myself. All depends on the timing. 

The ocean has dropped from view as we descended from the high plains and is now completely blocked by the coastal mountains. 

Our progress will no doubt slow considerably there and perhaps the time will be right. 

Day One Thousand Sixteen #DiaryoftheEndoftheWorld

Situations like this made me wish that Tomas was still with us, out front scouting. But that worry passed when I heard that gentle rebuke, and I realized I was transferring my trust off of where it should be.

I found Quasimo in the same dilemma. He was still hesitant about ordering us forward, thinking it perhaps too soon.

I believed his recent dreams were  robbing him of his confidence. I sent him to confer with Elijah, and  took up the task of moving us on.

Elijah sent his new pupils to assist me, and together we had everyone up and over the next hill in short order.

From the summit Quasimo saw that the next stopping point was free.

Day Six Hundred Ninety Four #DiaryoftheEndoftheWorld

Although Elijah and I were dismayed over the absence of Tomas, the Captain was beside himself with worry. Even the reminder that neither could perish outside the presence of the other, failed to alleviate his despair.

Finally, I persuaded the Captain that inaction was not an option and got us moving again. We would continue to keep on task by chasing after the army.

I had to rein my friend in a couple of times when we came across paths that Tomas may have taken.

The Captain gave in to our bidding, but only after insisting that we leave an indication of our passage in order to prevent Tomas from heading in the wrong direction should he return that way.

Day Four Hundred Seventy Seven #DiaryoftheEndoftheWorld

Elijah tells me I worry too much. I had been explaining to him my concern about the mysterious container, and the fact that it is buried so deep in the hold that we cannot get at it while we are underway, that he stopped me mid-explanation and told me to forget about it until such time that I can do something.

Sage advice. But how to put it into practice. I feel such responsibility to the Captain, to the crew, and to the ship.

After expressing this sentiment, Elijah gave me a sterner talking to, but in the end let me down gently. I felt more peaceful afterwards. And I realize now I can last til the next port.