All Hail Eloise

 

All Hail Eloise

As they say in the movies, the following is based upon a true incident (and as you can see by the amounts and the mention of Cub Foods [i.e. Winco] this was back in 1991):

Let us sing of my pure one –
Famous in battle
Let us take up her praise upon our lips
For ’tis fitting that we praise –
Our lips and not her own.

With firm and measured tread
She takes the Safeway, the Thriftway
The thronging CUB food aisle
Swiftly to the fray she sweeps
Where each combatant must join the list
Against the exacting foe.
(All buttoned and be-ribboned
Anxious to take its toll)
With each stroke of the infernal engine
The cents into dollars count
Pressing hard ‘gainst the family purse and budget
As to the skies they mount
Thirty-seven point eighty blink the lights azure
Thirty-seven dollars and eighty cents
A princely sum that’s sure
Yet is her brow disturbed?
-No! There is only more resolve.
For her weapons this moment sheathed
Leap out at the total called.

And 37.80 ceases flashing
From its lofty height it tumbles down.
First fifty cents are taken off
Then six dollars in a lump
Double the sum of forty
As the coupons fall like trump
The total is hacked in half
And as the haze is cleared away
Another sixth is shorn
The total mortifies in rigor at 13.64

All hail Eloise
As she leaves the field
The victor undisputed
All hail Eloise
Her booty gained
In battle well-reputed.

RWOz2

My Pure One

my-pure-one

My pure one

How I love your name
And the warmth it breathes o’er me
Yet I must confess
I am more enchanted
By your name second-given

Not the name of a barmaid – No!
But the all knowing choice
Of a wise father king
For his princess second-born
My fair Eloise

Eloise – in battle famous
Though to you it may bring a blush
At its echo – angels hush…
And lean nearer…
Waiting…
Hopeful

To be caught up in the music elven-made
Rising from some sylvan glade
In anviled notes of silver laughter
Whispering in my ear
In the silence after
The name of
Ma chère Eloise.

RWOz2